Fortuna desperata
The following was received at the CMAA offices today. Names have been changed to protect the guilty and the ignorant, invincibly or otherwise.
THE NEW BROOM
At St. Stronza's, in a real diocese on the East coast
8 July 2004
Six months ago the "new broom" (pastor?), a trend-ophile control freak boiling with multiplatinum shine and polite hostility, set about in humiliating clandestine indifference, gathering non-entities in snakeskin catsuits; i.e., the disenfranchised "fusion grime" who were prepared to make a profound bow, bringing forward the joys of a celestial punk-sound jukebox with much trumpeting and enthusiasm.
THE DIE WAS CAST WHEN:
1. He responded to one who inquired about whether the Blessed Sacrament would be exposed all day Wednesday, with "Jesus is up there buck naked, would you like to see Him?"
2. He responded to one who inquired about a church cleaning woman's request for more money, "$150.00 more? I can get a [expletive deleted] janitor for that price."
3. He responded to one who admired the magnificent crucifix mounted on the rear wall of the church, "I hate that thing 'cause it looks like Jesus is in drag."
CANTOR'S ENTRANCE AT EASTERTIDE
The dismissed off-Broadway cantor (soprano) of five years previous was invited to return as "there is great need to make our music fit the demographics; you know, more upbeat stuff, being led from downstairs by a cantor." Five weeks later, the "new broom" claims she is a raging success, advising that the "new Jerusalem" will be a team music ministry (Music Minister, Pastor, Cantor) to be defined at a conference/discussion of music for the Novena/Feast of the patron saint as well as for the future, on 7 July 2004.
THE POWER STRUGGLE SURFACES & IS DEFINED
The trio (Music Minister, Pastor, Cantor) gathered in the rectory dining room. After a brief introduction by the "new broom," the cantor began her non-stop, defensive, controlling pop invasion, aggressive and arrogantly displaying a stack of Xerox copies of pop-secular music which was met with gratuitous smiles of approval from the "new broom."
Then followed her agenda:
1. I'll hire four song leaders and four instrumentalists. When asked about parts for the instruments, she said, "None needed, they just play their part."
2. I'll make up a printed program with neat artwork.
3. We need catchy wild stuff for the meditation songs: different, provocative, light, upbeat, with-it stuff.
4. I'll put all of the music in a printed program for the entire novena.
5. When asked about the music for the Ordinary, she responded, "What's that?", as the "new broom" merely shook his shoulders and grinned.
6. New Broom is thrilled as she spins her "whoopee" satellite.
7. She boldly announced her plans for Christmas Midnight Mass as well as Holy Week and Easter, which indicate a total transition to music of the lowest common denominator, even held up a book of nursery songs, saying, "Don't laugh, these are wonderful and would be great for the congregation."
CONCLUSION:
The meeting was a defining one indeed, totally oblivious to the music minister's talents and sensitivity, a maneuver that is insulting and unacceptable, a meeting full of bad taste and cutesiness, a strong power play from both the pastor and the cantor, a gross misunderstanding of protocol and common courtesy, a failure to understand that the real reason for the activity at this time is the Veneration of a Saint. It's eminently clear that the cantor rules, a time of change, as the new broom gives a carte blanche to the pop-secular spectacle.
In conclusion, yesterday's meeting makes it very clear that St. Stronza's musical endeavor has been switched to a pop-secular track, controlled by a musically illiterate duo that is unwilling and incapable of observing the directives of the Magisterium. As the spiritual and musical fabric has been torn into shreds, it's time to move on!
At St. Stronza's, in a real diocese on the East coast
8 July 2004
Six months ago the "new broom" (pastor?), a trend-ophile control freak boiling with multiplatinum shine and polite hostility, set about in humiliating clandestine indifference, gathering non-entities in snakeskin catsuits; i.e., the disenfranchised "fusion grime" who were prepared to make a profound bow, bringing forward the joys of a celestial punk-sound jukebox with much trumpeting and enthusiasm.
THE DIE WAS CAST WHEN:
1. He responded to one who inquired about whether the Blessed Sacrament would be exposed all day Wednesday, with "Jesus is up there buck naked, would you like to see Him?"
2. He responded to one who inquired about a church cleaning woman's request for more money, "$150.00 more? I can get a [expletive deleted] janitor for that price."
3. He responded to one who admired the magnificent crucifix mounted on the rear wall of the church, "I hate that thing 'cause it looks like Jesus is in drag."
CANTOR'S ENTRANCE AT EASTERTIDE
The dismissed off-Broadway cantor (soprano) of five years previous was invited to return as "there is great need to make our music fit the demographics; you know, more upbeat stuff, being led from downstairs by a cantor." Five weeks later, the "new broom" claims she is a raging success, advising that the "new Jerusalem" will be a team music ministry (Music Minister, Pastor, Cantor) to be defined at a conference/discussion of music for the Novena/Feast of the patron saint as well as for the future, on 7 July 2004.
THE POWER STRUGGLE SURFACES & IS DEFINED
The trio (Music Minister, Pastor, Cantor) gathered in the rectory dining room. After a brief introduction by the "new broom," the cantor began her non-stop, defensive, controlling pop invasion, aggressive and arrogantly displaying a stack of Xerox copies of pop-secular music which was met with gratuitous smiles of approval from the "new broom."
Then followed her agenda:
1. I'll hire four song leaders and four instrumentalists. When asked about parts for the instruments, she said, "None needed, they just play their part."
2. I'll make up a printed program with neat artwork.
3. We need catchy wild stuff for the meditation songs: different, provocative, light, upbeat, with-it stuff.
4. I'll put all of the music in a printed program for the entire novena.
5. When asked about the music for the Ordinary, she responded, "What's that?", as the "new broom" merely shook his shoulders and grinned.
6. New Broom is thrilled as she spins her "whoopee" satellite.
7. She boldly announced her plans for Christmas Midnight Mass as well as Holy Week and Easter, which indicate a total transition to music of the lowest common denominator, even held up a book of nursery songs, saying, "Don't laugh, these are wonderful and would be great for the congregation."
CONCLUSION:
The meeting was a defining one indeed, totally oblivious to the music minister's talents and sensitivity, a maneuver that is insulting and unacceptable, a meeting full of bad taste and cutesiness, a strong power play from both the pastor and the cantor, a gross misunderstanding of protocol and common courtesy, a failure to understand that the real reason for the activity at this time is the Veneration of a Saint. It's eminently clear that the cantor rules, a time of change, as the new broom gives a carte blanche to the pop-secular spectacle.
In conclusion, yesterday's meeting makes it very clear that St. Stronza's musical endeavor has been switched to a pop-secular track, controlled by a musically illiterate duo that is unwilling and incapable of observing the directives of the Magisterium. As the spiritual and musical fabric has been torn into shreds, it's time to move on!
-Fortuna desperata
1 Comments:
Peace, David.
The more things change ... at least there's a transition period here to find a new position.
I remember a classmate of mine being told on Saturday afternoon, thirty minutes before his "new broom's" first Mass, that the services of the organist would no longer be required. Immediately, came the suggestion.
As long as human beings run the church, there will always be horrific personnel stories to tell. Don't kid yourself about this pastor though; he's conservative through and through. A real progressive would work with the music minister in question and make a real assessment before aligning everything to his own taste.
I must comment that East Coast people do have their way of being gentle about transitions. Sheesh.
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